pen portraits
Inflatable You!
A cloakroom attendant on seeing Mae West’s (1892-1980) jewels gushed, “Goodness, what beautiful diamonds!” To which Miss West retorted, “Goodness dearie, has nothing to do with it.”
2.
Pearls Before...
Cleopatra (69-30 B.C)
Mark Antony had done his best to entertain Cleopatra and was peeved by her taunts as to the quality of his table. He was perplexed too. When she remarked that she would in one supper spend ten million sestercii Antony laid a wager that it was impossible.
When she laid out her table Mark Antony checked each item against the bill and he had to laugh at her presumption. But she promised that not only she would keep her promise but that the supper would cost 60m.Sestercii.
For the second course a goblet of vinegar of special quality, strong enough to dissolve pearls was brought in. For the occasion she was wearing two most precious pearls in the world. Before his eyes she took off one and dropped into the vinegar. Making sure it was dissolved she downed her goblet. She would have done the same with her second pearl had not Plancus the referee stopped her from it. He pronounced her to have already won the wager.
Turning to a crest-fallen Antony she murmured, ”No soldier is a match for a woman.”
benny